Happy blogaverary! To… me?
This week (I started this 2 weeks ago woops) marks one whole year of me being a loud obnoxious feminist. It’s been great. I’ve ranted! I’ve raved! I’ve grown out my arm pit hair! I’ve burned bras (literally!) But most important, I’ve learned.
That’s right. I’ve learned in italics. That means I’m not even shitting you.
I’ve learned that feminism isn’t just one thing! And it can mean different things to different people! And not all feminists even AGREE on everything! And that’s okay! And never start a sentence with a conjunction!
I’ve learned that I’m not right all of the time, and I don’t know everything. (this came as a shock to me as well.) I don’t even know my OWN opinion on a lot of thing, and sometimes I even CHANGE MY MIND. So that’s what this post is about. My top three feminist dilemmas, and how having them doesn’t make me a bad feminist (right? RIGHT?).
1. My own body hair
During the whole No-Shave November deal, the internet was flooded with comments from dudes reminding us women that the No-Shave part need not apply to us. Because that would be gross. Well, as an angry feminist, it was MY JOB to say FUCK YOU, SIRS AND MADAMS OF THE INTERNET, LADY HAIR IS TOATS NORMAL AND I WILL NOW STOP SHAVING FOREVER!…. as long as it’s winter anyway… and I’m not wearing short sleeves…. And nobody will see my legs… but I have to go to the gym so maybe I’ll just shave my legs but JUST MY LEGS! I still have my armpit hair so I’m still totally empowered.
I like feeling superior… but I also like feeling shiny.
You see, whilst aware of beauty standards and the fact that body hair is totally normal, I still care. For some reason. I have dark hair and I’m pale and it grows in thick and strong, so I guess I’m a little wee bit sensitive about it. I blame the media. I admire those ladies who give no shits about this issue and run free with the breeze tickling their luscious leg locks. I hope to get there one day. But until then, I might continue the bi-weekly process of pulling each and every hair out of my legs. Because society.
2. How do I even feel about the word “slut?”
I know I wrote a long post about this, which I still stand by most of, but I’m still caught up on how I feel about the word itself. After discussing the matter with some proud sluts and friends, and friends who happen to be sluts, I began to ponder the question again. I think I actually really like the idea of trying to reclaim the word. There’s something really attractive about taking a word that’s been thrown in our faces for so long to shame us about sex and really owning it. It’s about not being ashamed of your own sexuality.
I want to proudly proclaim that I am, indeed, a slutty, slut, Slutty McSlutterson, from Slutsville Slutsulvainia. Population sluts. Where we all hang out and have slut parties and slut bake sales and “take your slut to work” day.
But I don’t know if I can. Even my most liberated friends still use the word with just a touch of self-deprecation. It’s like they are intellectually okay with whatever kind of life style they lead, but the word “slut” just sounds bad. It’s still the ignorant college kid go-to insult. It still has so many negative connotations that I don’t even know if it CAN be reclaimed. Maybe we don’t need a word for it at all.
And speaking of which…
3. Not calling yourself a feminist
This is something I’ve been struggling with. I get why women don’t want to claim the title. It sounds bad. It makes people think of you in a certain way, and nobody likes labels. Unless the label is “awesome, cool person! Be friends with them!”
Sometimes it IS hard to be a vocal feminist. There is this whole celebrity trend where women like Katy Perry and Beyonce say things like they “Believe in the strength of women but I’m not a Feminist.” Which is disappointing, considering how influential these women can be for a lot of girls and women, but is understandable I guess. It’s way easier to not be a Feminist. A lot of the reactions you get when you are vocal can range anywhere from irritating to infuriating. A lot of times there are raised eyebrows, weird joke comments like “You think she’s hot? Don’t let her hear that, she’ll think she’s being objectified!”, or awkward laughter and an abrupt change of subject. So I get it. And I also get it if you just don’t know what you’re talking about. I would never claim to be a sloth activist because I know nothing about sloths. Except for the fact that I find them terrifying (this isn’t even a joke. I think I’m the only person on the internet who finds their weird finger-toes creepy).
This came up when Jian Ghomeshi had Salon writer Mary Elizabeth Williams debate Nona Willis Aronowitz, author of Girldrive: Crisscrossing America, Redefining Feminism on if the feminist label really need apply anymore.
Aronowitz made an interesting argument in favor for “it doesn’t matter.” Just because young women aren’t using the WORD feminism, it doesn’t mean they don’t share all the same values and ideas, and aren’t equally passionate about them. The main problem here is lack of education: young people simply don’t know what feminism means. So should we really be chastising women who aren’t comfortable claiming the label? You can listen to the debate here http://www.cbc.ca/q/blog/2013/05/15/does-the-feminist-label-matter/
There is also this discussion that feminism today is a way more of a personal movement than a political movement. Young women are making the values and ideas of feminism part of their life by ignoring conventional rules about how we should dress or behave, and saying “fuck you” to anyone who tries to say anything different. Not to say we don’t have things we need to fight for politically – but I think a lot of women are – they just aren’t claiming the feminist label.
SO, what do you think? Feel free to hit the comments and let me know.
Release the Feminist Kraken 